Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
