he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
