The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
...so i touched it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
