i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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