they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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