All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize