the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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