cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize