yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
