This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
