They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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