Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
