he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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