Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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