i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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