What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
