I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
