Im at strip club and am horny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
