$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
