Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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