i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
