Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
