Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
