Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
