Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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