Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
