dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Randomize
