I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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