i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
