i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
