she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.