Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup
  Replies (18) Good night (1604) Bad night (6737)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in http://tfl.nu/gix0
  Replies (30) Good night (11805) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again http://tfl.nu/580i
  Replies (12) Good night (3190) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies" http://tfl.nu/cnee
  Replies (16) Good night (5212) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue http://tfl.nu/qbgw
  Replies (26) Good night (4880) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it. http://tfl.nu/zncn
  Replies (32) Good night (6910) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day. http://tfl.nu/x5t9
  Replies (20) Good night (3676) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9
  Replies (24) Good night (5509) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"... http://tfl.nu/xa6k
  Replies (18) Good night (5232) Bad night (2188)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq
  Replies (6) Good night (2635) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gdj
  Replies (3) Good night (1915) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies. http://tfl.nu/w2xc
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up http://tfl.nu/yx6y
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (710): View more from

  It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (710): It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse. http://tfl.nu/ozwb
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs (720): Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment http://tfl.nu/qn0i
  Replies (4) Good night (390) Bad night (737)

Randomize