I think I died a long time ago.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask