Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (683) Bad night (3317)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash

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  (704): happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash http://tfl.nu/ibz5
  Replies (16) Good night (2608) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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  (209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf
  Replies (56) Good night (4912) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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  (310): what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'? http://tfl.nu/9kgd
  Replies (95) Good night (2145) Bad night (3313)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there was a trapeze. enough said

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  (617): there was a trapeze. enough said http://tfl.nu/096f
  Replies (4) Good night (3872) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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  (509): I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics http://tfl.nu/1cmu
  Replies (13) Good night (4892) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.

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  (404): Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party. http://tfl.nu/3iq6
  Replies (16) Good night (2792) Bad night (3608)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3443) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
  Replies (15) Good night (2912) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed

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  (610): If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed http://tfl.nu/z6o3
  Replies (5) Good night (1351) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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  (305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.

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  (310): He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom. http://tfl.nu/v9mc
  Replies (2) Good night (908) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us

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  (403): The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us http://tfl.nu/rgjh
  Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind

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  (203): Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind http://tfl.nu/5as8
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (191)

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