Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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(248): In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer http://tfl.nu/p97m

Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (1082)
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(972): View more from Texas

some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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(972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/2gcf

Replies (32) Good night (13674) Bad night (971)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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(843): just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style. http://tfl.nu/ygfi

Replies (8) Good night (1296) Bad night (3023)
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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(503): why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men? (541): I don't know but we should still do that http://tfl.nu/3rqy

Replies (20) Good night (5193) Bad night (732)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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(615): In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky. http://tfl.nu/u0v1

Replies (34) Good night (4197) Bad night (919)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.

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(847): Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot. http://tfl.nu/nyh6

Replies (41) Good night (4577) Bad night (931)
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(309): View more from Illinois

i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.

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(309): i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex. http://tfl.nu/maqt

Replies (29) Good night (886) Bad night (7425)
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(425): View more from Washington

If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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(425): If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower. http://tfl.nu/0936

Replies (11) Good night (3480) Bad night (1557)
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(765): View more from Indiana

he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

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(765): he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it. http://tfl.nu/1dic

Replies (9) Good night (3206) Bad night (1272)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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(662): they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments. http://tfl.nu/u5vp

Replies (10) Good night (2616) Bad night (1140)
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(303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

(1-303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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(303): YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES (1-303): YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES http://tfl.nu/trz6

Replies (9) Good night (2434) Bad night (480)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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(402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz

Replies (14) Good night (448) Bad night (2153)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.

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(913): The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops. http://tfl.nu/e530

Replies (13) Good night (1605) Bad night (709)
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(773): View more from Illinois

there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.

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(773): there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him. http://tfl.nu/ujhc

Replies (4) Good night (1239) Bad night (258)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.

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(314): I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best. http://tfl.nu/05vy

Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (314)

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