Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (1928) Bad night (1162)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (608) Bad night (2938)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (2201)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced

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  (254): Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced http://tfl.nu/tkdm
  Replies (8) Good night (3848) Bad night (495)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10658) Bad night (1418)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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  (757): And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate." http://tfl.nu/e62b
  Replies (11) Good night (7050) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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  (248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o
  Replies (3) Good night (2661) Bad night (653)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.

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  (937): The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/s2w2
  Replies (8) Good night (3527) Bad night (932)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.

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  (727): It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together. http://tfl.nu/hikf
  Replies (30) Good night (954) Bad night (5101)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (837) Bad night (4917)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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  (972): honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa http://tfl.nu/ld2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1468) Bad night (1020)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.

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  (310): I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations. http://tfl.nu/td7t
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (908)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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  (402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/i07d
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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  (818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn

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  (201): so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn http://tfl.nu/00rd
  Replies (4) Good night (171) Bad night (415)

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