It's like God shit irony all over that family
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.