turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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