can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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