I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
