Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
