i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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