if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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