i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
