i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
