No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
