Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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