dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
