ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
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I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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