4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
