i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
