dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize