it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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