I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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