before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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