did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
