Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Shame - the story of my life.
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