On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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