im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
