Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
