I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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