Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s

Replies (2) Good night (1104) Bad night (775)
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(818): View more from California

so... thinking about masturbating finally

(661): View more from California

taking the losers way out I see

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(818): so... thinking about masturbating finally (661): taking the losers way out I see http://tfl.nu/lnxg

Replies (14) Good night (734) Bad night (2874)
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(408): View more from California

Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.

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(408): Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0. http://tfl.nu/rypw

Replies (30) Good night (4652) Bad night (969)
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(530): View more from California

I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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(530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj

Replies (36) Good night (5139) Bad night (1575)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.

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(508): I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave. http://tfl.nu/zhay

Replies (6) Good night (1468) Bad night (3838)
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(619): View more from California

The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.

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(619): The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear. http://tfl.nu/8fu9

Replies (11) Good night (4922) Bad night (1907)
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(765): View more from Indiana

What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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(765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3

Replies (13) Good night (2901) Bad night (878)
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(713): View more from Texas

That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.

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(713): That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me. http://tfl.nu/mvmi

Replies (8) Good night (2436) Bad night (1029)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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(519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065

Replies (9) Good night (2198) Bad night (788)
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(916): View more from California

If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.

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(916): If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it. http://tfl.nu/e2co

Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (1133)
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(352): View more from Florida

Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.

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(352): Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans. http://tfl.nu/fhpi

Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (639)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.

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(864): Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype. http://tfl.nu/2egz

Replies (5) Good night (1744) Bad night (464)
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(469): View more from Texas

TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.

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(469): TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low. http://tfl.nu/y5ae

Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (368)
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(727): View more from Florida

Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

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(727): Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins http://tfl.nu/qgcg

Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (255)
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(740): View more from Ohio

It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf

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(740): It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf http://tfl.nu/nnzu

Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (156)

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