The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.