I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
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I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."