Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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